I can kind of empathize with Michelle Duggar...

I started watching the Duggars sometime during my second trimester. I had baby programming fever. It sort of evolved into TLC and Discovery Health fever. It drove B to a state of despair. He asked me if he'd have to watch women give birth from the hours of 8-12 for the rest of his life. Thankfully having my own baby makes watching births sort of boring. I only wanted some insight and had hormones to thank for my pregnancy programming obsession.

Well now that I have Elise, I still watch the Duggars. Some may find their lifestyle chaotic and unreasonable. The truth is that a lot of families in other countries have a lot of children. I don't know about 19, but I've definitely seen Orthodox Jewish families with 9 or 10. Catholics also seem to have some beliefs against birth control so their families can run big as well. I come from a relatively small family. My mother has two siblings and my father has one. I'm the oldest grandchild of 4 on my fathers side and 4 on my mother's side.

Sometimes I envy the families of dozens of cousins, great aunts, uncles, second cousins, etc. I don't even know if I have a second cousin or what it even is exactly. I just know I don't know any of them. My sister has three children. A family of 5 seems cozy, close but still large enough to take up a full car. Would I want three kids though? Do I even want two?

I know I just had a baby and all but female brain chemistry does wacky things. I look at her and wonder who she'll have when B and I aren't here anymore. Do I wait until she's old enough to talk and ask if she wants a sibling? I think I would have appreciated being asked as a kid. Then again, I probably would have said no. (That would have been a mistake.)

Back to the Duggars. I think Michelle is addicted. I can see where she's coming from. Being pregnant wasn't the most enjoyable experience for me, but the less I remember in detail about it, the more I miss it. I miss being able to just think about myself and being the baby grower. I miss always having somebody in the car with me when I drove back and forth from my doctor's appointments. The weirdest thing? I miss being in suspense about labor: wondering what it'd be like and having an endless amount of things to research about it.

I'm sure it's different the second time around. Every pregnancy is different, supposedly, but I imagine the whole thing to be a lot less exciting and new. I'd have a toddler to chase around and I really do worry about giving her the amount attention I think she deserves. She may get jealous. I might get distracted from my schooling goals. B may become financially strained. All these things make sense in my head. I rarely follow what my head tells me to do. I follow my intuition and in this case, it stems from my human desire to procreate.

Just to be sure I don't let my hormones get the best of my brain, I've decided to get an IUD. It's happening on Wednesday and I can't help but have my doubts about it. It's almost as if part of me feels disappointed that a surprise won't even really be feasible once it's in. It's also going to be weird choosing to get it removed. Elise was a surprise so the next one will be more "planned." How you even go about discussing that with your partner is a big question mark to me.

Sooo...are you planning to have another if you just had one? How long are you waiting if at all? If you have more than one child already, how far apart are they in age and do they get along well?